The Musings of a Muse

Moody’s Mood… Likely Unlikable.

    It’s really time for me to realize that I’m just not for everybody. I’ve been going around trying to prove that I’m as good/sweet/dope/friendly as people expect (or heard of) me to be & not noticing that…THAT isn’t me. Yearning for acceptance from someone who has never really accepted me? It’s pointless. I guess it’s been tugging at my heart strings for a few days & I really just need to let it go. I am not my family, whom I choose to date, the clothes that I wear. But I’m all of those, too. I am not made up of one bad encounter, day, week or month and I have to stop expecting something out of myself that isn’t realistic. It’s a painful feeling especially when I’m giving all that I have- but lately? I don’t have much left to give. And it’s been really tough for me, pretending that I’m all there when I’m not. I mean, it hasn’t even been a month since I lost the ONE person who knew me better than anyone. Less than a week since her memorial. It’s not just a silly, little nightmare. That changed so much in me.

I’ll just have to focus on surrounding myself with positivity, love and understanding. That is what I need most. The people who already truly know & love me- will continue to… and those who don’t- can continue to walk on by. I think I’m finally content in that. 

Rude Awakenings.

There aren’t much more things as disheartening as feeling that a person should fully understand where you’re coming from; yet they don’t at all.

I just want to see her…

Thank you all for the wishes, prayers and condolences…

…my family and I sincerely appreciate them. My sister died from a crash Tuesday night. She was 21.

And we miss her deeply.

Again, thank you all for the love.

(Source: rocketlover)

Really so over Tumblr.

maybe my feelings will change one day…